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DEVELOPING Charisma and Charm: Why Charisma is POWERFUL for Men

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Watch the subtitled video above if you prefer to listen to my advice.

In today’s video we’re gonna talk about, well, it’s basically a case study of a guy who has been doing quite well with women. Before he hasn’t been doing quite well and because he’s doing quite well with women right now, he wants to have some advice. So it’s a great video to watch just to see… If you’ve been very shy in the past or you didn’t get a lot of women in general… To see what happens when you actually follow your purpose. When you follow the things that excite you. When you’re just real with yourself and other people, in general. So once you’re just your authentic self and you do the things that excite you, you have a different kind of aura because you’re happy with who you are and women are going to wonder “why is this guy so happy? why is he so excited about the things that he’s doing?

That’s a really big difference between for example a guy, a man who is working a job that he doesn’t like, that he’s not excited about… So maybe you are into… Let’s say, poetry, for example. If you’ve ever watched the YouTube channel button poetry, there are so many great poets on there who do these insanely amazing live performances of poetry. I’m not a poet. I’m not super into poetry but I’ve watched this channel a few times many, many years ago, but I still remember them. I cannot forget these performances. They were so good. So for everybody who goes there, it’s what makes them exciting. And so whatever it is that you’re excited about, when you pursue that, women are going to be interested in you because all of a sudden there’s something that’s really cool about you. So let’s get right into the situation from this guy who has been doing quite well with his passion and now he’s getting laid, or he’s about to get laid, and he wants advice. So let’s see.

Attract Women Effortlessly: How To Meet More Women By Becoming Confident In Your Own Skin

Hey coach, I wanted to share my growth story with you and also I guess about the problem of having too many women being interested in me.

Yeah, what an awful problem!

It’s kind of a what the fuck situation because I used to be fairly out of shape just two years ago. You know, the typical out-of-shape kind of guy. Sitting way too much in front of the computer. Nerd neck. Rounded shoulders, etc… I’ve never been really fit because I’m a skinny type of guy. So I never felt confident to hit the gym. I guess that confidence or rather lack of confidence reflected in how I would have no game when it came to talking to women. I sucked at dating and definitely also with going out. I just never felt 100% comfortable in my own skin, or my own body, but that has changed so much, especially last year and now I’ve got a lot of love interests.

So there’s something interesting that I want to comment on here. Now, you can be comfortable in your own skin and feel comfortable with who you are without being super ripped. You don’t have to be the fittest person at the gym. I can tell you. Unfortunately, I got this really bad injury from running because I wanted to get a tan when I landed in Bali and I ran… I went running way too much to get a tan, so that I could surf. And of course, I got the worst knee injury. Anyway, so I checked out the gyms here. I’m gonna hit the gym probably next week again because my leg is getting better. Anyway, so I checked out the gyms and here. All the gyms are full of these crazy ripped people. It’s just typical Bali. I will never be that ripped and it doesn’t really matter. I don’t have to be that ripped. You don’t have to be that ripped. But for sure, if you hit the gym, some guys have a body type when you hit the gym you just get really buffed very easily. Other guys, not so much. I’m not that buff kind of guy. I don’t need to be. If you’re not that guy, it’s not a problem. If you are, that’s awesome.

One thing that you need to understand though is even if you’re not a buff kind of guy, if you hit the gym, you feel better in your skin. You feel more confident. You’re more defined and it definitely will help. So while hitting the gym and looking really hot is not essential to get a great woman, it definitely accelerates it because it automatically just makes you feel better about yourself. So yes, doing deep inner work is great, but simple things like discipline and hitting the gym, feeling better in your skin because you look better because you take more care of your body… That by itself can also go long ways and yes, of course, discipline is also really not that easy. Hitting the gym every three days is not that easy, especially when life gets in the way, or whatever thing that you want to pursue.

Doing it every single day is not easy. I’m learning a lot of Indonesian right now and it’s really helping me a lot to get accustomed here with the people, but I still have days where I’m like “Today I’m not gonna study. Today I’m gonna stop Duolingo. Fuck you, Duolingo!“… But discipline, that’s so important, because any woman wants to be with a man who’s disciplined, who is willing to actually work on himself, and willing to improve himself. It’s really freaking sexy when you as a man never give up and keep on moving forward. So that applies to anything, not just the gym. So kudos for hitting the gym and feeling great about yourself.

Why Women Are Attracted To Confidence: Get Her To Notice You With Consistent Pursuit Of Excellence

I’ve learned that this skinn guy was not who I was meant to be. It just took a while. About two and a half years ago, I started getting into yoga. Just fairly casual. I was going to the yoga studio once or twice a week. Sometimes less. I initially did not feel like I was made for it, but over time, I really loved yoga and I became so much more flexible than I ever thought I could become. So then one and a half years ago, I played with the thought of becoming a yoga teacher, but I lacked the confidence to do so. That’s when I stumbled upon your channel and I applied your dating advice of ‘those who repeat succeed’ to my personal goals. It gave me that last push of confidence to pursue becoming a yoga teacher.

So there’s another really great thing to take away from this guy here. And he’s been applying my dating advice of “those who repeat succeed” Actually, do I have the t-shirt? No, I’m not wearing it right now. Anyway, if you keep on repeating, you’re gonna succeed. So he’s a good example. He’s a yoga teacher or well, he is about to be a teacher. We’re gonna get into this in a moment. He started yoga… And we men are not flexible. If you compare to a woman it’s just hard! Depending on your body type and whatever you’re pursuing, it might be really easy for you to do something, or it might not be easy. So yoga, for a lot of people, for example, is really hard, but see how far he’s come. He’s now starting to become a yoga teacher. Becoming really flexible. And he’s ripped as well. And it takes time. So if you would give up in the first six months to a year, you would not see your potential. You wouldn’t realize how much you can get done.

So the same thing applies to anything, including, of course, women. Some people are really great at art. They’re just naturally wired to be really great artists and they don’t really have to work that much for it. And that’s great for them! Others have to work for it and if you have to work for it, whatever! But if you stay consistent, you’re gonna get really great at it. And guess what? If you get really great at art, at some point, women will be like “wow this guy is really good at art. It’s kind of cool.” That’s not too bad. It’s quite unique. Women like that. And in the same way, learning dating skills, learning how to talk to women, learning confidence, learning how to strike up a conversation, how to keep a conversation, that also takes time. It doesn’t happen overnight. So never give up too soon.

Because especially for everybody who’s watching this who’s relatively new to dating, or even if you’re not new, but let’s say you’re in your 30s or something like that and you just haven’t had that many successes and you haven’t applied the right mindset so far… So if you switch your mindset right now, if you change your approach right now, you’re not gonna get that success in three months from now. Maybe you could have it, but it could also take you six months, or maybe it takes you a year, maybe it takes you three years. Rome wasn’t built in a day. But over time, you’re gonna get better at the things that you truly have potential for. And yes, you all have potential to get a great woman. To date a beautiful woman. A woman who’s not batshit crazy. Who has all the right qualities. She’s smart, funny, calm, collected, and also not batshit crazy. And also hot. All the good stuff without the negative stuff. You can get this. Just keep on repeating. Repeat and succeed. Alright, so let’s continue.

Getting Approached By A Woman: Why Charisma Is Attractive To Women & Why Women Chase Men

So anyway, I eventually became a yoga teacher and recently opened my own yoga studio. And on a side note, because of regular yoga practice, I’m incredibly flexible and very well-defined. Now, I’m still a skinny guy but you can really see my muscles and especially my abs from all the core workout. Now here’s the cool thing and this is why I’m sending you the message because I think a lot of guys need to hear this. I’ve watched many of your videos about the fact that you don’t have to come up with a grand master plan of what to say to women. You just gotta be yourself. And so ever since I have had my own yoga studio and even already before that, a lot of women have been flirting with me.

Of course, because if you’re hitting… Well, first of all, you’re attractive, probably, if you’re going to the yoga studio. And you’re doing yoga. How many men are there? Not many. So not much competition. That is already a bonus. Number two: Like attracts like. So if you’re into yoga, women will find it attractive. Not just because they might think it’s a hot quality in general. It’s sexy. Flexible women, and women might think that it’s brave, because you’re willing to break out from the stereotypes. For sure, some things like that could be true as well. But also, like attracts like. So for example, some guys really fucking hate yoga, or they think yoga is stupid, or they think zumba is stupid, or something like that. Dancing is stupid. Whatever.

Some guys are just very close-minded and a really great woman wants to be with a man who is open-minded and who doesn’t give a shit. If his woman, for example, does yoga, or something else that some people might think is silly, or some guys might think is silly. So the fact that he’s doing yoga… Just that fact… Women at that yoga studio immediately know “This guy is probably a catch. He’s open-minded. He’s willing to try new things. I want to date this guy.” So never be too afraid to get out of your comfort zone and try new things that some people would not be willing to do. Just do whatever the fuck you want to do. You’re a king. It doesn’t matter what other people say. If you think yoga is cool, then you do yoga. If you think that salsa is cool, you need to do salsa. If you think that shooting a gun is cool, then shoot a fucking gun. I don’t care what it is. Me, I’m not a gun person. Whatever! I’m more a yoga person, or I’m a surfing person, and that’s fine. Just be whatever the fuck you want to be and don’t let other people bash you for it.

Just be yourself authentically and that way, women are going to be into you. And look, maybe the kind of guy who likes guns, and shooting guns at the gun range won’t get a chick who likes yoga, but maybe that guy is gonna get a chick who’s really badass and who likes to shoot guns. There is this woman, she’s a musician from a very famous band here in Indonesia. I checked out her Instagram profile and she likes to shoot guns. So if you’d be into guns, she’d probably like you. So go with whatever floats your boat. Just go with it passionately and with conviction. That’s attractive to women. And he proves it by saying:

Making Women Horny: Women Are Attracted To Athletic Men With Broad Shoulders

It turns out that as a guy at a yoga studio, you’re kind of a rare breed and apparently, there is locker room talk by women.

I don’t know what that means… Locker room talk by women, but they’re probably gossiping about the hot guys that go to yoga, for example, and he says: “Having my own business also just naturally made me more confident, more outgoing. It’s part of my daily life to interact with the customers who also turn out to be mostly women.

Yeah, that’s pretty good. So by default, basically, you don’t have to pick up a book on how to say all the right things. Instead, you’re just forced to talk to women. So if you’re doing something that has a lot of interaction with people in general, it’s really good because women have a lot of interaction all the time. They’re very relationship-driven. We men, not so much. So it doesn’t really matter what it is but I’m sure you’ve seen bartenders, or people who are waiters, waitresses. They’re really talkative. They know how to talk because they do it all the time. So if you expose yourself a little bit to the things that are not natural to you, that goes a long way. And of course, in his case with the business it’s really helping a lot. He has to talk to people. So that just makes him a little bit better conversationalist without having to become a player, or figuring out tricks of what to say.

How To Get Women To Want You: Women Are Attracted To Confidence Grounded In Spontaneity

So instead of having to train myself to learn how to talk to women, I’m just going with the flow. Pun not intended, if you get what I mean. Flow yoga ;).

Haha yeah I get what you mean. That’s actually kind of a good analogy. Going with the flow. Flow yoga. You’re just doing what you like, basically, right? You don’t have to worry. Jou just get up in the morning, I don’t know if you’re teaching yoga all the time. I guess as the owner most likely not, but you love what you’re doing, right? You get to go to the yoga studio, you get to talk to people, you work on your business, sometimes you do give classes and you talk with people about the stuff, and you can work on your health, on your fitness, you can help other people with fitness, and I guess you love it and you go with the flow. Every morning, you wake up happy, content, and any woman who can see that is gonna be like “This guy is hot!“…

Not just because of your body, but also just your mindset, your mentality. When you wake up, you’re really happy. There are some men who get up in the morning and they’re just fucking miserable. I have a friend who is very miserable right now. And I can really tell he’s looking for problems all the time. And his and my experience are so different. We live in the same place right now I guess. A slightly different area but he’s very miserable every morning, or all the time. He’s complaining and bitching to me about this, and this, and this, and I’m just like “bruh come on man! There are so many good things here! Bali is amazing.” So how can you not like Bali?! If you’ve ever been to Bali, people literally escape to this place to have a good time, right? And we get to live here, right? So there are two types of people. The kind of person who’s always sad, and disappointed, and miserable when they wake up in the morning. Then there’s a person like this guy who just loves getting up. He probably does yoga in the morning as well, I’m assuming. Probably. And he’s having a good time with his life. That’s attractive to women.

So that’s something that you should take away. Love what you’re doing. Get up in the morning excited for whatever it is, and if you don’t feel excited for… For example, work… If the work that you’re doing doesn’t excite you, or if you feel like you’ve got to do something else, pursue something exciting on the side. Something that really gets your heart pumping. Then do that. It doesn’t have to be with your job. It can also be just… What do you call this… Mountain bike riding. Motocross, or something like that, right? Maybe some extreme sport. Whatever. Do something that gets you excited and if it’s your job that pisses you off, then that’s obviously a big problem. So be that kind of guy who’s excited. Who has that aura of “I love who I am. I love what I’m doing with my life.” And any woman wants to be with a guy who loves what he’s doing with his life.

When Women Start To Notice You: Becoming Charismatic Helps You Attract Women On Autopilot

So I hope this gives some of the guys watching your channel some perspective. Okay, so here’s the tiny piece of advice that I hope to get from you about my dating problem. I actually started going on some dates with a woman who goes to my yoga studio but we are not exclusive at all. And as I said, how do I say this… Let’s just say I have plenty of options right now. There are more than a few women at the studio who are flirting with me. So I’m thinking to get to know some of them more.

That’s a really nice problem to have. It’s like you get your own unique Tinder stack, where all the chicks are competing for you. That’s fucking amazing! But I understand your problem. I’ve had this problem in the past as well, that when you never had options… It is women who have options all the time. So they get very tired of it, but for us guys, especially when you don’t have game yet, we have no options. But then when it shifts, when you develop game, all of a sudden you can have a lot more women. Now you gotta actually think who’s the right choice? Who do I date? This one is nice! But I don’t like this, xyz about her. This one is really hot and maybe I should get to know her a little bit more. So what you do? Do you date in parallel? Yes, you should date in parallel, not in sequence.

Because if you date in sequence, then it takes a long time. Now, sometimes you can know of course that you don’t like a woman after one date, or one, two, three weeks, and that’s not that long, obviously. But some guys make the mistake that they stay in a relationship or dating way too long, months, until they say actually this is not for me, and then they break it off. So it’s much better to just date very casually multiple women at the same time. You don’t have to overlap that much, but basically, just go on a date here, go on a date there, chat with them every now and then… A little bit. Do not to commit because that’s the right way to do it. First of all, you’re not gonna hurt their feelings. Everybody has low expectations at that point and you can see what’s going on. So obviously, you want to… Well, let’s see what is your question…

Lots Of Options With Women: Is It Ok To Date More Than One Woman At A Time?

But I’ve never done something like this. I feel a little bit bad to go on dates with this one really nice woman, but also thinking of going on more dates in parallel. Should I tell her? Or should I not do it at all? Is it too playerish? Or do you think this is okay? I know it’s a weird problem to have but I’m kind of stressed by the fact that I know I could go on another date but don’t want to. It’s odd that I feel bad about women being into me but I guess that’s just how I feel and I can’t change that. Thanks so much for your advice.

Well, I don’t think it’s odd. I think a lot of guys who were just a little bit more shy in school, for example, when they were younger, not so much into sports… We tend to be a little bit more people-pleasers and so maybe you’re half a little bit of a people-pleaser, still within you. And so you don’t want to hurt these women, right? You feel like wait is this cheating? Is this playerish behavior? Am I a piece of shit? Am I leading them on? Something like that. And I understand that. No, you’re not leading them on. As I said, as long as you keep it casual. So you shouldn’t say “I love you.“… You shouldn’t be like a couple. At some point, you can tell that this is becoming quite serious, but one the first, second date… Not really. It depends on the situation. You might be able to say after you had sex is getting serious, but even then it’s not 100% serious yet, right? So you can casually date and hook up and it’s not really serious yet, right?

So what I would suggest is… No, you don’t have to tell them that you’re seeing other women. Probably, if you are actually having sex with some of them, at least one of them, you probably want to let them know “I am still looking around“… Because they might be concerned about this. First of all, it’s about safe sex. All of that stuff. They don’t want to catch anything from you. So if you have sex with them, probably you want to let them know and you want to make sure that they’re okay with it. But if there’s no sex involved and there’s not that much intimacy yet, why do you need to tell them? You don’t even know… Let’s say you’re going to go on another date with another woman from this yoga studio, and might say… Okay, lots of chicks at yoga studies are really hot and unfortunately, a lot of hot chicks are also kind of batshit crazy. Now, if she’s into yoga, then maybe she’s more of a conscious type, but well, thinking back… I dated a chick who did yoga and she was fucking batshit crazy. Well, not batshit crazy… but not a good woman.

So you might as well just find out in three weeks that this woman that you wanna go on a date with is whatever… Something that you don’t like. Maybe she’s not necessarily batshit crazy. You probably won’t be able to tell that she’s batshit crazy that fast, but you can just tell she’s not the right one for you. So I wouldn’t disclose that because maybe she’ll just be gone in a week from now and you can just keep on getting more serious with the other women that you’re already dating, and make up your mind, and of course, at some point, you gotta tell her, or just stop dating in parallel. Right, so if it gets too serious, I wouldn’t do that because that just causes trouble at some point. But in the beginning, in the first few weeks, two months, most likely it’s fine. Especially if you hadn’t had sex yet. Especially if you only had a few dates. Don’t worry about it, man. You’re not a bad person for doing that.

Women do it all the time. You want to make sure that you meet the right woman and that she has all the right things. The full package that you want. You seem to be the full package, right? Before, you couldn’t get any women. Now all these women want you. So what does it tell you? You have a lot of value on the market. You’re highly desired. So why would you settle for a woman who’s not right for you, right? You have a right to get your queen. You’re a king and I think a lot of guys don’t get that, but now that you have choices, you should actually choose. You should maximize your choices and take some time. See which one is the right choice. That’s when you then commit to something a little bit more serious.

And then you should probably stop dating these women and you should have an agreement. You’re probably already a semi-couple at that point, anyways, and you don’t have to really talk about it and you’ll just know. So that is my advice for you and for everybody who’s watching. This is such a good example of a shy nerdy guy… you didn’t mention if you got laid, but yeah, it’s basically a good case study of how to follow your passion, follow what you love doing, and then the women are going to follow because it’s so sexy when a man just knows what he wants. So that is my advice for you. Let me know in the comments what you think, give me a thumbs up, subscribe to the channel, and never forget to unleash the king within.

by | May 21, 2022 | Dating & Attraction

Home » Blog » Dating & Attraction » DEVELOPING Charisma and Charm: Why Charisma is POWERFUL for Men

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Hi, I’m Andy Graziosi. I help men unleash their confidence and reach their fullest potential. My science-backed philosophy is: “The king is already a winner.” — Amazing women are already attracted to you. All a king has to do is use this attraction to his advantage.

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